Mistakes

Jul. 30th, 2008 10:24 pm
gdelgiblueeyes: johnheartpaul (Default)
To follow up on my note about regrets, here's a little something about mistakes. The dictionary defines mistakes as "wrong actions attributable to bad judgment or ignorance or inattention." Everybody's made their fair share. I've made my share of mistakes as well, some of them too heinous (read: embarrassing) for me to go into.

Well, one mistake I made is related to my list of regrets. Tonight I made the mistake of thinking that I could heal the wounds in that friendship I talked about. I worked toward it, but he didn't. I assumed it was because we didn't see each other that often anymore, never mind that he lives across the street from me. But tonight we had a fight over the stupidest of things.

See, he has a new girlfriend. Well, relatively new. Well, she was (and in a way still is) new to me. She's apparently from Manchester, England (I shit you not) and was visiting family here when he met her. I asked him a couple times for a little face time with her, for me, and also for his cousin whom he doesn't see very often anymore, a great kid who practically lives with me sometimes and is a hell of a friend. I've known the dude with whom I'd been trying to patch up my friendship since the summer after second grade, I know better than to embarrass him, and I figured maybe I could help his good impression on this girl. He always said, "We'll see what happens."

Smash cut (that's Hollywood talk for an abrupt scene change) to her having already left. Naturally, I felt left out of the loop. I asked him why he hadn't brought her by to see us at least once, considering the fact that I'd asked him more than once. He said that they felt they needed their alone time, and they were never down there anyway. Well, I can grant that, because who knows what her family that she was visiting would allow her to do, God forbid she ever see his house or anything (note the sarcasm). As for alone time, I pointed out that while I'm nearsighted, I'm not in fact blind, and I had seen on Facebook that the two of them had hung out a few times with mutual friends of ours. If they needed so much "alone time," how come they were spending it with them?

I guess I should have just fucking shut my mouth at this point and realized what he was politely trying to say. But like the inimitable dumb ass I am, I pressed the issue. I said, "Well, maybe we can catch her next time." And he then threw up what he thought were his aces in the hole: "That's not till next spring. And besides, next spring, we're all going on a road trip and we won't see you." Translate that to mean, "I don't care about your opinion anymore." Funny that I haven't met this girl and that I've known him for such a long fucking time. I don't think that the latter makes me entitled to anything, but still, the least he could have done was asked if I wanted to come, brought her by, told me where they were all hanging so I could come chill too, but nothing. Nothing but silence and side-stepping and lies. And so I've decided to wash my hands of this prick.

Well, I'm glad to see that I count for shit with him. Thanks, pal. Now I know who my true friends are and where my loyalties lie.
gdelgiblueeyes: johnheartpaul (Default)
23 comedy albums
14 HBO specials
3 books
2 TV shows
Several movies
A footnote in U.S. legal history regarding the use of obscenities
One George Carlin

You crazy nonconformist! We will never forget you. Hope Joe Pesci and the sun have a place for you in their afterlife. Hey, if you're closer, maybe the rate your prayers are answered will change.

For Tim

Mar. 13th, 2007 04:49 am
gdelgiblueeyes: johnheartpaul (Default)

(Originally posted at MySpace)

If there are some of you who don't know, I will try to fill you in, though I find it hard for the words to pass my lips. Tim Packhem is no longer with us. He passed away sometime this evening.

Tim, I know you're there, so I'm going to talk knowing you will see this. I first met you at lunch in Gorton in 7th grade. Remember those days? We were both nut jobs, in fact almost everybody was, but I was a hostile nut job, very withdrawn, very much a loner, and not tending to talk to one person for more than a day. You were one of the first long-haulers, and one of the best.

We understood each other because we were both crazy, but in creative and fun ways, too. You helped break me out of my shell through 7th grade and a lot of 8th grade. Because of you, 9th grade wasn't such a pain in the ass. I learned to deal with people, to talk with them and to deal with them on a common level, the way we all should be dealt with. 10th grade, we never spoke much, but when we did, you were still wild and crazy, and still one of the funniest kids I've ever met.

It is my sincere regret that the last two times we spoke, I was begging for change. The fact of the matter is, I wasn't that hard up, and in fact I had five dollars in change in my pocket that day. Chances are you knew I was probably lying about not having money. But you dug a penny out of your pocket anyway, for my sake, and for that I thank you.

Tim, I think I speak for the population of Vets that you knew when I say that we will never forget you. Good night and good luck.

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